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Where Does My Heart Sing?

Time 0:02:56

Transcript:

I am now living a dream life to most. A beautiful condominium in Florida with a water view, nothing to do except laze in the sun and read – yet I find myself confused, not sure whether to make Florida my permanent home. Is it time to move again? – and again for a man?

I was born in Singapore and raised a Catholic by strict Chinese parents. As an only child and a girl, my parents were especially protective – I was never allowed to go out alone. My mom would always say, “If you were a boy it would be different.” Hence my experiences as a child were narrow and limited.

When I entered university, I studied architecture and the students were encouraged to travel, especially to Europe for its magnificent history of architecture. That started my yearly backpacking trips. Singapore, being the only 100% urban country in the world, was small and crowded and I noticed that during my travels I was taking more pictures of each countries natural beauty than of its man-made beauty! I was pulled to landscapes which were wild, vast and open, reflecting my inner need for space and freedom.

I met several men during my travels, and it was always me travelling to see them. Even immigrating to Canada was inspired by love, but by the time my papers came through the relationship was over.

Then I met Albert on a bus in Los Angeles. I was on a different bus, but for some reason, I decided to get on the one behind me. He caught my eye, and we spent the day at the beach. I wrote to him and sent him a gift. A year later, I decided to pay him a visit in the Yukon. When I first arrived I was struck by its beauty, its expanse and especially by its stillness. I could just walk behind my house and be in the middle of wilderness. My planned visit of 2 weeks stretched to present time.

When we found out Albert had cancer, we decided to have a spiritual wedding after being together for 15 years. His death changed me. Albert was always saving for a rainy day, which of course never came. I realized that life was too short to be working so much and began to travel again.

I am now splitting my time with Florida and Whitehorse because Scott, my new boyfriend lives there. I am still not clear where the road leads. The question I need to ask myself this time though which I never did before is “where does my own heart sing”?

Is it time to move again? It may be, it may not be. If the answer is yes, it needs to be for me. Then I will be at peace, and in joy no matter where I am.

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